Meld

In the same Sociology class where femininity was discussed, my professor mentioned a far more disturbing concept at the end of class. It began as a discussion on terms for sex. The professor wrote the following sentence on the board, "Honey, we're finally alone. Let's __________," and asked the class to fill in the blanks. It actually was pretty funny some of the terms people came up with. However, at the end of class the professor mentioned that there were no terms on the board that reflected anything "spiritual" or "mutual." She said all the terms were about desiring to do something to another person, and she suggested that in our spare time, not for class, we come up with a term that was both mutual and spiritual. Apparently, she has been thinking about this for some time, saying that the only term she could ever come up with was meld. She then said something to the effect that the term isn't about doing something to another person but just melding together and becoming one.

This is gross. First, all I am imagining is two people melting into a giant fondue of sex. However, that is beside the point, and even if I did not envision that the term would still be grossed. As I have said before, love is about becoming more, meaning achieving more happiness. Therefore, there cannot be two people melting, or melding, into one. That is subtraction. That is less. That is the destruction of two selves for some new entity. This common concept that in love 1 + 1 = 1 is perverted. Love is not about destroying two individuals into one entity. Love is about individuals maintaining who themselves and achieving happiness for themselves. It is not about achieving happiness for some singular fondue from their remnants. It is about achieving their independent happiness. Once again, love is selfish, it is not altruistic as this term suggests.

Additionally, though their is some mutual aspect to love, this does not mean that sex has to be equalized in every action. Nor does it mean that both individuals must agree that certain actions are pleasurable and other actions are not pleasurable. For example, the two individuals do not have to agree that doing something to another is pleasurable, yet having something done to them by the other is not pleasurable. If the two individuals had to pursue this, then mutuality would make sense because both individuals would mutually want to both do something to the other person all the time. Of course, then mutuality would also be impossible because sex does not work that way. Essentially, in each act one gives and the other receives. "Melding" suggests that a knew form of sex must be found where each individual is neither giving nor receiving because for mutuality to exist everything must be equalized both in actions and which actions derive pleasure and which do not derive pleasure. Obviously, the only way to achieve this is on the fictional spiritual level, which obviously delves into the irrational, and in order for a romantic relationship to function properly it cannot exist in some ignorant mystical atmosphere. Part of love is A's desire to do something to B, and B's desire to have A do something to it, and vice versa. The disgusting mutuality of "melding" would remove this pleasure, and all that would exist is some mediocre compromise with lots of irrational mystical elements involved.